i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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