the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
