Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
