We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
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I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
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I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.