Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
