I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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