im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
