How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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