hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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