Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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