Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
