I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
