So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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