Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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