do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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