last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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