Sponge bath it is.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
