my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
