i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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