My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
