M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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