Fuck appropriateness.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
