I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
