If i come over, it means nothing
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
