ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
