You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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