i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
