I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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