He kissed a someone with a penis
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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