Can Purell be used as lube?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
