I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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