just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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