Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize