Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you didnt know i had herpes?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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