do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
