He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
