i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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