lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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