my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
