he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
