video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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