She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize