So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
