those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize