apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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