I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
