I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I supernannyed him into submission
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