I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
There's even glitter on my cock...
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