O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
