Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
