at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
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