Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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