this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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