trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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