i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
