Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
