Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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