We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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