Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
