there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
